Are you willing to try things that don’t make sense, that make you uncomfortable, that feel like the wrong direction?

I live just east of the foothills leading to the Rocky Mountains. Directions here are easy—the mountains are always west. Recently I traveled to California for a conference where the mountains were always east. For three days my internal compass was backwards. I drove north to the conference, placing the mountains on my right. Everything within me wanted to keep them on my left, which of course would be the absolute wrong direction!

Where is your marital compass pointing?

I am convinced you want to reach a good destination. Couples usually want clearer communication, passionate affection, sound financial management, laughter—and more fun. However, when your compass is pointing in the wrong direction, your destination gets further and further away. This is when you can be tempted to give up!

Please don’t give up until you at least consider the possibility that your map is upside down! Right becomes wrong, and up actually points down.

Believe me, driving north with the mountains on my right just felt wrong, but I couldn’t argue with the results. I arrived at my destination, and on time!

It’s time to turn your map around and get headed in the right direction.

Michele Weiner-Davis, author of Divorce Busting, calls this “doing a 180.” Doing a 180 might feel wrong, but to reach your destination you need to turn around and go the opposite direction.

Jesus often flipped things around in ways that didn’t seem to make sense. “If you want to be first, go to the back of the line.” “If you want to be the master, start washing people’s feet.” “If you want to gain your life, lose it.”

Could it be that living a healthy, spiritually mature life requires facing another direction and going the opposite way, even if it feels uncomfortable?

Find new ways to reach the goals you have for your marriage. Consider couples counseling or go on a retreat, read Divorce Busting, or other books on marriage, sign up for dancing lessons, or write a love letter. Do something different.

How’s your marital compass? Are your efforts moving you further from your destination? If so, turning your map around might help get you where you want to be—and on time!

You can do this!