“The demands my spouse puts on my time are unreasonable! She knows I have this big conference coming up!” “He knew this promotion meant long hours. How can I make him understand?”

If you feel that it’s not fair for your spouse to ask for more of you, you’re right! It’s not fair when your spouse expects you to be two places at once, to risk your job security, or to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Busy schedules can create separation anxiety if they last too long. Don’t panic. Take a deep breath and accept that life’s not fair.

Now let’s consider a new perspective.

When it seems like there’s not enough of you to go around, take heart. Your spouse might really be asking, “Are you with me?”

Think about it. Would your spouse rather have you with them, wishing you were somewhere else? Or, have you somewhere else, wishing you were with them?

The response I always hear is, “Have me somewhere else, wishing I was with them!”

I call this Heart Location. Your spouse wants to know that they are in your heart. To know that your thoughts, desires, hopes, and dreams are present, no matter where you are physically.

The demands of life have you halfway there. You are somewhere else most of the time! The mission from here is to communicate that your heart is with your spouse.

Make this fun—use your creativity. Send a quick text message between appointments, place a sticky note on the rearview mirror, draw a heart shaped message in the snow, sneak a mint onto the pillow, tie a ribbon on their keychain, or a bow on their laptop case.

Thousands of ideas (none of which take very long) can express what your spouse needs to know: “My heart is with you.”

Plan out in advance some fun ways to let your spouse know you are near, no matter how far away you are physically. What once seemed demanding can become very rewarding.

You can do this!